My Declaration of Love for You, 1.

You may be far from me but I feel your love. Even from here.

I cannot get your face out of my mind. I think of you often- the way you smell, laugh, smile; the way your eyes smile with you, and when you speak, I hear nothing else. I don’t want to hear anything else. I don’t want to look at anything else.

I’ve spent the morning alone by the shore, and I know you’re sleeping soundly at home. I feel comforted knowing that you’re so close. I get to come home to you. You are the home my heart has taken refuge in. I’ll never leave you, and I know you feel the same.

The tide is low and my heart is full. The sky is pink and the sun rises slowly, reminding me that no matter how badly I wish I could, I cannot stop time. I wish I could hit pause on life whenever we share moments together. When we slow danced together in the dirty laundry room at my workplace, we paid tribute to Mac and let him speak his truth while you and I soaked it in. All I wanted in that moment was for it to last forever. The warmth of your body fully embraced my own and I swear I fall in love over and over again whenever you press your lips against mine. 

I’ll never forget the way I felt when I saw you in the physical realm for the first time in so long. I saw you and I knew right then and there that I wanted to be with you. God knew what He was doing when He created the two of us- you were made for me and I for you. You constantly inspire me to do better, to exceed the potential I’ve limited myself to. You force me to come out of my shell and to see myself in a light that only God can grant me. For that I am so thankful, and I promise I will never stop trying and I will never give up. My unsworn duty is to accompany you in this life. And when the day comes that we finally are able to vow in the sight of God that you and I will be together in this life and the next, I know it’ll be a moment we both will treasure endlessly.

The sun has risen and the world around me is awakening. I hope you have slept well and that you feel nothing but contentedness and joy. Although this is only the beginning, I know we have a future filled with adventure, struggle, test and tribulation. None of that will stop us. God is with us. I know it. And so my gift to you is this love and this devotion. My entire life I had been waiting for you, and now that you’re here, the rest of it will be spent with you. 

It’s so quiet this morning. I really can’t complain. God has been so good to me, so why do I feel disdain? Living life on the cutting edge, it’s what I’ve always done. What happens when time runs out and all is said and done? Life, the biggest troll, so the joke is on us. But when it comes to me and you, this is love, this isn’t lust. I’d give it all, and then some more, I leave my problems at the door and then I see you standing there with your dark brown colored hair.

You’re all I need, I swear you’re all I need, death and all his friends could never fully make ends meet. And then I watch you as you slip away from the space between my fingers, and I swear I’ve never felt a pain like this, oh I swear I’ve never felt a pain like this.

Darker times, they’re telling boulder heavy lies

Looks like all we’ve got is each other

The truth is obsolete

Remember when all I had was my mother

She didn’t compromise

She could recognize

Voodoo

Our daughters and our sons

Are just candles in the sun

Voodoo

Don’t let Him see divide

Don’t you let her see divide

Voodoo

She’s got the whole wide world in her juicy fruit

He’s got the whole wide world in his pants

He wrapped the whole wide world in a wedding

Then put the whole wide world in her hands

She’s got the whole wide world in her hands

He’s got the whole wide world in his hands.

Don’t get so caught up that you forget who even gave this to you. You work and live for one purpose and that alone. Deny yourself and stay true to your duty in this life. If it shall be then it will be. Remain honest and humble. Stop allowing temptation to lure you away. You need to stop slipping and get it together again. Don’t spread yourself thin and take care of your soul. Prioritize and shift your visions into goals, turn your dreams into goals, goals into plans, and your plans into life. Direct your energy to it and it will manifest itself in this dimension. Energy as physical matter exists in us through a higher conscious, so when you exert and direct your energy, it will begin to solidify. That’s what focus does. That’s why energy can be felt from across the room. We are more spiritual beings than we think we are, in our most organic state.

Draft Series, May 2018

Ah fuck. I shouldn’t be asking myself the questions I have been lately. I see the world around me and question anything, everything. I’m fascinated with both spectrums and seek understanding of everything in between the two. There’s this, that, and the other thing- I am here, you are there, this physical manifestation of space between us is all that keeps us apart. It’s strange. Life, I mean. We are born and then we die, but the significance is what happens between all of that. I understand all and nothing at the same time. I guess it keeps me humble, and I never want to think I am more than what I am. Who am I, really? In a world full of magnificent, intelligent beings, God selected me? For what cause and for what purpose? None other than to serve, right? And in the end.. do I get what I want, too? Or will I have to experience loss over and over again until I am on my knees begging for redemption?

Draft Series, July 2018

It’s the early afternoon right about now.

I light the leftover joint from yesterday’s festivities and lean back into my bed while Because the Internet plays from start to finish on my phone speakers. Damn, this album is so good. I’ll never get tired of it.

I feel so restless, I literally just give myself enough time to sleep and then I get up and go somewhere. This year I’ve become so close with myself. After all those years I’ve spent just being misled by everyone and their visions, I finally listened to myself and followed my own vision. I feel happy experiencing life, it’s almost like the colors of the world are more vibrant and I’m just constantly elated. I’m going to really work on my grind and handle my shit like a responsible adult. I’m gonna take care of my spiritual health and my physical health, never neglecting either one. I’m going to shed a layer of toxic skin and renew my life.

The world is oddly quiet to me at this very moment, I can only hear the occasional car passing by and my fan humming. The shore is so busy and everyone is bustling through the streets of my little town. I’ve lived here for so long and am only now just learning and observing what happens around me. What the hell have I been doing for the past decade? Have I really just been that distant? Hahaha damn.